Saturday, January 24, 2009

WHAT...what is IT?

About WHO you are and who you really want to be keeps you from being?

And WHY the older you get the harder you try to hide behind yourself?

And WHEN do you just spill it all, tell your deepest darkest thoughts for all the world to see?

And WHERE do you go from there?

Ok...sounds a bit loony, off the wall, plain coo-coo... AND you didn't realize I was so tormented with my own thoughts....you thought I was a well-rounded, has her head together kind of girl. Well...here I AM...telling you that I DON'T.

It is all one BIG FAT BETTY MARTIN BARREDA APPLE SHOW which I hope will not be cancelled but will broadcast live and in living color at a life time station near you.

Here's where it all began...I have always held on to my youth for as long as I could...you know the youth that thought she could "save the world, the whales, the dogs", the youth that knew she would "be somebody" some day, she would make a "difference", change the world, join a cause, burn the bras, be better off than the last generation, stop the prejudices, then...as I grew older into my youthful like thinking...I still held on to that "hippie", see the world through "rose-colored glasses" naive everybody is good, there are no true bad people out there bohemian outlook. Then the day came...I met me, myself and I realized I am the bad people, I am the one who needs to change and so here I AM left with the daunting task of finding who I am to be.

And during my so called life-interrupted I have run across a quote that sums it up quite nicely:

"This is the only leadership life I get, my one and only shot at following God the way I feel him prompting me to do so."
Bill Hybels Axiom

And here were two questions that followed

1. Am I following God and leading in the way He is prompting me?

2. Or AM I caught up in my own plans to see where He is leading?

5 comments:

Melissa said...

Girl, you and me are on a journey together...we should do Starbucks and see if we can help guide each other along....

O:)
Melissa

Kyla said...

Betty Apple, you do change the world....it may be one diaper at a time, but you make such a huge impact on every life you touch. You have blessed me and my family more that words express. And, the love you show those kiddos and parents each and every day is almost sainty. I love you, the Betty I know. Oh, and do not for get that in Nicaragua everyone thought YOU were a teenager! So, believe me you've still got your youth! Keep holdin' it sista!

roza said...

Sweet Betty, you have DEFINATELY made an impact on the Smith Ranch. You Apples....so loving...so caring...always selfish. You ALWAYS represent Christ. I look at you and see an angel. The way you mother your children, everyone elses children, and me is so inspiring. The display of your love for Coffee...I mean....people is so heartwarming. There has never been a time when I have been around you that there is not a sense of true compassion. It is an honor to be called your friend..your sister. You tell satan that I will kick his a$$ if he makes you think these thoughts again!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you Betty apple..

Tonya Lee said...

Through Beth Moore's Bible study this week, I have learned that the little things we do are great things because they are God-things.

Beth says, "Everyone of us who embraces the glory of God as our purpose will end up doing great things precisely because we do God-things. His holy hand resting on the the least act renders the ordinary extraordinary. (The smallest things) are acts of HIGH WORSHIP when offered in the name of Christ."

So, go pick up that living room for the 1000th time and consider it an act of high worsip- that's my goal this week!!!

Angie said...

I second all those other comments! And I feel where you "are" too. I sometimes get reminded of what you are being reminded of, and I find myself washing dishes, singing out, "doin' the dishes for Jeeeee-suuuus!" Every knee we bandage with a kiss, every hand we hold at the dentist, every "no vegetables on this plate" meal we put on the table, and every moment our family observes us giving in to God, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit, we are doing God's work... for each of us is Salt, and each of us is Light. You are called. Now, sit at His feet and listen. Then, you will know, and you will follow, so you can be. In Christ.